so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize
