I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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