I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
