It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize