Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize
