Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize
