Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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