I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
