I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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