Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Randomize
