I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize