I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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