When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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