it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
