Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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