idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize