**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Randomize
