Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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