i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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