i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
