im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize