you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
