I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
