Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
