CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize