1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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