No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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