her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
