capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
