don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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