my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
