My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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