Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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