And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
