he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
