She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
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