What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
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