is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
