I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
