she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
