I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
