my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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