I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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