You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
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