I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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