im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
