Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Who did Billy Mays play for?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
vagina is talking i cant
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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