The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
