there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Randomize
