belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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