didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Randomize