He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
