Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
