yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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