I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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