I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I wish you could order shots online.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize